Friday, December 05, 2008


It's days like these when I'm high on a divine concoction of cough syrups and Panadol CFs, I would prefer not to talk to people and blurt out things i shouldn't have!
And its days like these when i wonder why!
Why did i let myself get attached to anyone and then sit back calmly to see them leave...infact helped them to move out and move on with their lives because I could not be ..did not be..or didn't want to be the person they wanted me to be.

Perhaps I'm too numb now to feel at this point. Maybe when my body gets immune to these meds and they stop messing with my head..will i know how it feels to let go so easily...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Tum un pe dekho to chal ke

Jab raton mai... tujhe neend na aye
Aur jab logon mai...tera dil ghabraye
to tum khud hi se poocho
kiun mere rastay hain uljhay....

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


How is it that those we love

Are those we hurt the most

Why is it so easy for them to disappoint

But so hard to make us proud

What makes us so impossible to please?

What makes us so tough to understand?

So unrelenting and severe it may seem

But its the expectations that we have...

That only the strongest survives

Will they have the eye to judge that I am unconditional?

or will they too begin to wonder why this is a part of their lives

Saturday, November 15, 2008

held up high on a breakable thread

Held up high on a breakable thread
Whats to be done ..What's to be said
It's all unknown ... Its all fogged up!!

Another one of my crazy Paint renditions

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

My walls

The closest i can get to graffitti-ing my bedroom walls
Im not sane-seriously!


You are a mystery,
like a folded paper...
A letter one doesnt pry into just out of being polite

Yet i can see,
some of the writing
because the paper is fragile
or my gaze...too intent.

* The 'whats' answered, the 'who' remains! *


There are times when i wanna grab the boldest and loudest markers and scrawl all over my bedroom walls. Graffitti, poems, all that i think.
But all that goes on im my head doesnt fit into my world.

I wanna write a poem but i dont have an axis, i wanna scrawl the walls but they are all painted green, i feel like going up to the roof and singing, but theres a mellowness in my heart that i cant explain

each thought is distinct, yet too scattered to be linked, like shards of broken individuality in its ownself yet disconnected from its purpose.

Its rather strange...not being able to do what you want to, when you want to. And later looking back to the rose tinted past and wondering if i had, but theres no denying the hollow feeling.

writing was my source of happiness, my raging expressions behind the composed facade of my being...but i cant seem to write what i feel anymore. Suffocation!! :(

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Thursday, April 10, 2008

How can i not love nandos!!

When all else fails...
if not the sinfull chocolate cake itself, the slogans always bring a smile to my face :-D

*Note to self: gather the girls for a nandos lunch*

empty thought cloud

I don't know what most people think of me really these days.
They think I'm always home these days, enjoying spending time doing nothing. Content that way. In truth, I'm living with a lot of restlessness, moodiness, anxiety and alltheworks.

I worry that I will never find it either. I vacillate between wanting to do something I sorta' like, and chiding myself for being childish and stupid and I should just be "grown-up"

There is something wrong with my preference to keep my worries to myself. All I can voice out is that I'm feeling moody, and feeling frustrated. I feel helpless to explain the whys and the hows of it all. It's like no words could come.

Like this moody/anxious/worried feeling just envelopes me, and when asked to account for the reasons, an empty thought balloon appears over my head. Why is it that life seems simpler in my parents' time? You go to school, you finish school and get a job, you settle down when you find the right man, you get your own place, you have children, you raise them.

I haven't reached many big milestones in my life and yet all I'm filled with is worry and anxiety. And this constant feeling that I haven't found what is it that I'm looking for. Not that I even know what I'm looking for.