Tuesday, December 18, 2007

leading on...

I don't expect you to love me yet,
Nor are my own feelings clear.
Coz right now we are reluctant to step
Into a world we both crave and fear.
We cannot know where this will take us,
Nor whether we will ride for long,
But pleasure is the overture
That flows into the larger song.

Needs closure...figuratively too :)

Monday, July 23, 2007

Khuda Ke Liye??

And here is another issue to fuel the political activities spreading like wild fire accross the country.
First the CJ became the pawn, then the Laal Majid issue and the so called Jihaad loving mullah's who tried to flee under a woman's Burqa (*wtf*) and now...a movie!
Iv been gaining first hand knowledge abt the movie from my boss..who i may add is the director of the movie.
Threat emails, security alerts, bomb threats for all of us dare we step into a cinema to watch the movie and what not! The national media has already been gagged and choked with barely audible whimpers coming though once in a while
Superficial topics raging accross the FM Channels
'Saas buri hoti hai ya bahoo?'
'Come up with new ways to give that girl in the park your number'
'Is Imraan Hashmi hot or is Bipasha a squint?'
Is that all the depth left in our personalities?

Khuda Ke Liye revolves not around a wannabe myth for Pakistani's but the truth. Desi men involved in live in relationships once out of the confines of their families/social strictures, children born out of wedlock, daughters flaunting their gora boyfriends in front of their dads.
The eye openers those fathers face when the girl instead of the son expresses her desire to marry a non-desi or non-muslim and then the typical chakrah of zalim baap dragging the girl to her rooma nd locking her up till he arranges for them to be sent back to Paki land and hitch her up with a complete mulla

Whats wrong with a movie that makes the society come face to face with whats really there..what they really are?
Why are we so scared of admitting what we do? and if we are scared..why do we do that and continue doing it anywayz?

Khuda Ke liye!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

First step into the corporate world

Universities do not prepare you well enough and internships arent a sufficient enough experience to face the first jolt u feel in the corporate world.
I was wrong in thinking that people at work would bond immediately like friends in IBA, help each other out n be really estatic if everyone got an A
But thats not how it works here, competition drips in every nook and corner..even between people who arent directly related to each other heirarchy or job description..more so between bosses and juniors vying to see who gets more appreciation from the CEO

You hide your msn windows from being visible and try not to swipe your card everytime you walk out of the door for an un-needed break. The urge to get abetter cell and a laptop then the person in the next cubicle..and hoping like hell that you get to make the next pitch instead of the smartass who seems to be the boss's fav.

But what gets me to work every morning is the passion to be the best at what im starting to do, to be recognized and asked for the oh-so-cool brand managers to make strategies for their brand, to be trusted by the boss enough to give me a free reign on my decisions.

Kinda dissappointed at not being able to get the P&G account for their new record breaker because of the fits unilever has if you mention P&G in the same room. Their idea..although was a mixed copy of shell n surf but it could have given Helium major mileage.

Tamseel's metamorphis and the brand activation mag is makin me want to do sumthing similar but judging from his analysis and the things he writes...i need atleast 2 years of experience in this industry to claim an accurate observation.

But atleast...this is a starting :)

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

My Sunset

I invite you to stumble!

An ode to my recent nightmare

Eerie apparitions
chill me to the bone
Nightmare's unappetizing fear
fills my marrow
by a force
and sweat upon my brow
I try lift my lids
to find a ghostly form
wisp through me
again .. and again .. wake up!
by fascination of unknown
Two taunting forms standone of light .. one exudes love
the other .. so vacant and black
His cruelties aware me
to make known
I am not welcome in this dream
My breath he steals away .. confines me
as coolness of his dark handed heart
rushes through meagain .. and again
I must run
Yet .. the body fails provide motion
to self-awaken
from this foul, unearthly dream

[Img is a rushed scrawl on Paint by me]

Monday, April 30, 2007


Turning around and running away appeals to me more then the idea of feeling a lot more then what I bargained for. Unexpected emotions have begun to freak me to right up to the 7th sky .. (and its not funny so wipe that grin off your face!)

It's ok when fake smiles turn into brighter ones with a dimple twinkling on one cheek as hello's and how-are-you's turn into witty repartee.
Even nicer when they become genuine full throated laughs (even a couple of snorts would do) as you cross the carefree bantering relation and step into relaxed camaraderie.
But when expectations follow suit, my highs get in grave danger of turning to ferocious lows.

Blues that start from a panicky azure and darkens to midnight hues
Incessant rambling that go on inside my head and I fail miserably at locating the stop button
The fragile web of the strongest threads that has me hanging from the edge of sanity while each gust of emotions threatens to snap the thread and throw me on the jagged ends of insanity below. Either I press into the web and entangle myself further in a myriad of complicatedness to save myself .. or go down the deep end.

Nopes! I'm better off picking up my skirts and making a mad dash for it instead!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

un kahi un suni

kuch unkahi si
kuch un suni si
honay lageen
dil pe raha na
hasti hamari
khoney lagi

Shayad yahi hai pyar :)

Sunday, April 08, 2007


(the images arnt too crisp bcz its just Paint n mouse)

Thoughts at Dusk

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Friday, April 06, 2007

The not so middle age crisis

This 20sumthing, graduated and farigh, dunno what to do and if you know what to do then you don't know how to go about it; phase has to be the worst era of a person's life.

You get more opinionated as time goes, you regrettably realize the mistakes that have cost you a lot in terms of lost friends, relationships or opportunities, and the dumber decisions that has left you with probably the most superficial people you would ever meet in life.

You realize that despite of being a Masters from the best Uni in your country, its not you who gets that lucky chance and would anywayz have to starts as a trainee at the bottom of the hierarchy.

You realize that the top is certainly not lonely but getting there is fatal health issue inducing and years of crappy hard work.

You're insecure about where you stand now and don't know where you'd be seeing yourself in the next year…success becomes the elusive sexy siren that often makes you want to listen to your evil buddy, copy your rival's work and give it in to the boss with your name before they manage to. Highs without getting tipsy get rare, friends start harboring secrets that they weren't ashamed of sharing earlier.

You talk to the opposite sex without dissolving into a pool of giggles as soon as he leaves or jumping to conclusions about the way he wiggled his eyebrows at you..

You probably didn't even notice he had shaved off his eyebrows and are just interested in making sure that you did what you wanted done.

You lie in bed and compare your below average colleagues managing to hook up with the most fabulous of the guys and wonder why you cant even manage to engage someone's undying fairytale love for yourself, and with a few minutes you start wishing you were more cutesy flirtatious who found easy to flit from person to person then to dream for a nonexistent ideal.

You start writing Blog entries like these and realize how pessimistic you sound...or read entries like these and nod with each line coz it hits you squarely between the eye and you think... "how true"

And as soon as you read/write the line above you find solace in the fact that this phase is thankfully temporary.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Meyyum'z DNA


And messed up chances!
Is this all that's left of life?

Blogspot Lives!

This is nice
I was craving to write here..you just cant get used to my spaces or the dear diary once you r hooked on top blogspot.
Im hoping the internet security breach is not temporary
we'v had enough..seriously!
Due posts to be updated soon :)